My Resume...

I had this idea...
What if we meet a potential mate and we're required to produce a resume?
Would it be impressive enough to score some points?
Or does it have a lot of bad records?

Here's mine:
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NAME: Melissa T. Huertas

OBJECTIVE: Find a suitable mate. Preferably someone who's willing to spend the rest of his life with me.
Note: I chose not to place specifics. It will make my resume look intimidating.

EXPERIENCES:

MAY 25-JULY 24, 2002= INTERNATIONAL LOVE AFFAIR
- It was brief but I felt really appreciated.
- He swept me off my feet. Offered me the world.
- He was engaged when we met. When he went back to the States, he was decided to break it off with the girl.
- He is now married and is a father.
- We are still friends. He even sends me picture of his baby. A real darling!

NOV 18 '99-SEPT 20, '01= A.K.A. TRUE LOVE
- He's tall. He's strong. He's everything I wanted.
- My relationship with him can be described as a journey inside a second hand washing machine. I was left in a daze.
- He cheated on me. With a girl I've mistaken as a drag queen. Yeah, she looked like someone from the movie 'To Wong Foo'. I was bitter. I am exaggerating.
- I still see them together although the guy is still stalking me.

SEPT 23 '96-A MONTH AFTER= I LOVE MY CLASSMATE
- He was my classmate. He liked me.
- The whole class teased us. I gave in.
- He was my first kiss.
- We lasted for a month but for us it felt like a year.
- It was puppy love. I thought it was the real thing. I was wrong.
- My first heartbreak.
- Talked to him a few months ago. He's doing okay.

APR '96-AUG '96= PROJECT
- It was a couple of days before my high school graduation.
- My project was already due. I had to find a boyfriend or I'll lose the bet.
- I answered him. He loved me. I didn't.
- I thought I could learn to love him. I was wrong. I treated him badly.
- Bad, Mei-An! *spank* *spank*
- He's now married..I think. I hope he's happy.

SKILLS AND INTERESTS: AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST

REFERENCES: AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST.

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What about you?
Will your resume land you a job?