First Love NEVER Dies?

Are you guys sure about that?

Because my first love texted me awhile ago.
Actually, he called me up two nights ago and was just bugging me about my upcoming birthday and all.
He's excited.

*What's his problem?!

Funny how some seven or eight years ago I would feel my hands getting clammy and my body shivering whenever he would call or text.
I was head over heels in love with Jay but we never became an item.(Long story)
He dropped out when we were in fourth year high and I thought I'd never see him again.
Well, turned out he would sporadically call me and we would talk about some petty stuff when all the time I was giddy with happiness because I was hearing his voice again.

*Talk about being mababaw.

We never gotten anywhere. I loved him for three years but he never knew about it. It took me another three years to get over him.

*Hohum.

Up until now he still calls me. We would talk about each other's going's-on. We would sometimes hear mass together but now it's different because I now see him as a friend.
I even invited him for a drink last October and it went well. There were no tight uncomfortable air between us and I was my 'ol cheerful self.

What bothered me was his text just awhile ago.
He was asking about my plans for my birthday and I found out he wanted to drop by my place to personally greet me.
I don't know why I did what I did but I told him all sort 'o reasons why he can't go to my place.
He finally gave up and said he'll just text or call me on Monday.

*What's wrong with me, huh?

Well, what if he's actually falling for me this time?

*Why only now?

Now that I'm no longer interested and I only see him as a friend.

*Now wait just a minute...

I think I'm just being presumptuous about this whole thing!
Maybe he's just being nice.
or maybe I'm afraid my feelings will resurface or something..
Arrrghhh...

*Whatever!

# # #
got this from the Bitch's blog:


VERBAL VIRTUOSE:
You are the verbal virtuose that we would all like
to be. You read a lot and write effortlessly
and well. Everyone is waiting for your novel!


What kind of blogger are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hah! I knew it! I knew it!
I'll be writing a book someday!

Bakit Ka Ganyan?

I'm in a blogging frenzy tonight..
we don't have that much calls because our clients are all busy stuffing their faces with food since it's a long weekend for them bec. of Thanksgiving.

I had dinner with some high school friends at Don Henrico's before my shift. It was a nice one.
We all caught up with each other's doings. Joy just got back from her 8 month stay as a receptionist at a cruise ship. Cool!
She showed us a lot of pictures and I'm envious because she really had a lot of fun and a lot of cash! Hehe!
She urged me to apply also since she heard how I wanted to work in a cruise ship also. I figured it's the cheapest way to travel.
I'd have to think about it first.
Michelle and her boyfriend are planning to get married next year. Yey! At long last, I'll see one of my friends go down the aisle...when will my turn come? *sighs*


Joan and Kathleen


Joy and Michelle



# # #

I saw this article in my inbox.
I didn't post this here before for fear that the guy will read my blog and find out what I feel.
Well, I don't care if he gets to read this now..I'll explain it some other time.



BAKIT KA GANYAN?


Dati di ko man lang alam pangalan mo...ni di ko nga alam na ka-opisina pala kita...

Dati andami kong iniisip. Kapag inaalok mo ako ng pagkain, kuha naman ako..sabay tapos na ang usapan naten. May pahaging ka nga, pero deadma lang ako kase nga, i was dating someone and wala kang dating saken!

Pero ikaw naman, humabol ba sa Valentine's Day fever, inaya akong manuod ng movie. Ako naman, since walang boylet at that time, go ang beauty ko.

Na-bore ako. Di ako sanay na tahimik kasama ko. Halos inaaliw ko na sarili ko. Daming dead-air. Mukhang tameme ka lagi. Pero baka sabihin nila na di ka man lang nagsalit, di naman. Nagsalita ka din naman. Yung mga tipong, 'san ka nag-college', 'ilan kayong magkakapatid'..mga tipong getting to know you questions.

Anyway, pagkatapos nun, la ka pa ring dating saken. Well, mejo natuwa ako sa binigay mong flowers at chocolate pero di masyado nayanig ang mundo ko.

Ok lang. Lumabas ulet ng isang beses, tapos isa pa. Unti-unti ka nang nagkakadating saken. Dati 'I didn't even know you exist' ang drama ko, ngayon mejo kilala na kita..mejo lang ah!

Pero eto ang weird, minsan halatang gusto mo ko...minsan naman hindi. Gulo mo! Di ka kase katulad nung ibang nanliligaw saken na aayain akong lumabas basta may chance or bubudburan ako ng atensyon para feeling Rapunzel ang beauty ko na kay haba ng hair. Marami ng chances na pinalampas, ilang aya ko na di ka sumama, ano ba talaga?!!

Kahit tanungin mo sa mga tao sa paligid naten, ang sasabihin nila 'he's got a thing for you'. E bakit naknakan ng bagal? Wag mong sabihin na torpe ka lang at sasapakin kita! May torpe pa ba sa mundo?! Hmm...sabagay, di ka pa kase nagkaka-girlfriend eh. Baka di ka talaga marunong manligaw...paturo ka nga!

Talagang napapaisip ang lola mo. Aba, pano ako mai-inlove sayo kung di kita makikilala ng lubos? Mag-isip ka nga?!!

Gusto ko malaman kung anong meron ka at bakit ka ganyan. Pero pag iniisip ko, ready ba talaga akong arukin ang kaibuturan ng pagkatao mo? Or tipong naku-curious lang ako kung bakit ka ganyan? Pag nalaman ko ba, matatahimik ako? Pag nalaman ko ba, tayo na nun?

Aba ewan ko! Basta ang gagawin ko, aalamin ko kung bakit ka ganyan!

*bow*

Ice Queen

After staring at my computer for eons..I decided to take a break.
Letters were already starting to swim around the edge of the screen..
and I know that if I stare a bit longer I might drop off to sleep...zzzzz
but I can't cause I'm at work. Dang.

# # #

I learned something new about myself the other day..and that is:
Whenever I'm feeling low; I would always go out of my way to cheer a friend up.
I don't have a clear and solid explanation why but somehow it makes me feel pleased knowing I was able to make someone smile.

# # #

I gathered my closest college buds for a dinner date yesterday.
We haven't seen each other ever since the Tagaytay trip and the get-together also served as a make shift celebration for Bettinah's birthday last Sunday.
It was nice. We had dinner at Cafe Breton at the Podium then headed off to Sidebar for a couple of drinks.
I had a really great time mainly because I considered it a break from work and from my colleagues whom I get to see every work week.

# # #


I find it weird that I can no longer find the same drive and dedication I have for my work as before.
I remembered how ambitious and motivated I was to excel..
Now I find it disappointing that I only go to work just for the pay and the people. Really disappointing.
I know that deep within; I'd want to make something of myself. I want to get promoted..get more responsibilities and handle people..
I think I know what she said about being terrified to succeed.
I guess I am scared of change...of getting up that corporate ladder because it would mean I'd be venturing out of my comfort zone.
O well, we'll never know. I think I'd still apply for a higher position if given a chance.
No harm in trying.

# # #


Lately I have been warding off my boylets.
Some of them were trying to engage me in conversations or what-have-you's..but I'm clearly not interested.
Even the guy whom I consider as my second 'greatest temptation' doesn't have a hold on me.
They can call me the Ice Queen for all I care..
I don't give a hoot.
(Maybe it's PMS..)

# # #

I have a throbbing headache..remind me not to drink before heading to work.
I miss my bed. I need to reclaim my sleeping prowess.
zzzZZZzzz...



# # #

Happy Thanksgiving!

Freewriting at Wishlist

Thanks 'Ish for introducing us to freewriting.

Lately I found myself not interested to write anything..I don't know if that's normal or I'm at the stage in my blog life that I'm losing this so called attachment to the craft.

I have spent two days at home already. *claps*
I feel guilty because my family rarely sees me coz I'm always out with friends or colleagues when it's my off. I would often come home late or come home when they're all having breakfast already. Shame on me!
With my birthday coming up, I'll treat em out to a fancy resto. With all the family members present:
my silent but ever reliable dad, my cool and makulit mom, my mataray and way sexier younger sis, my cool and lovable younger brother and our ever dependable-been with us forever helper.
It's when everything has gone wrong and your friends aren't present that you learn to appreciate your family.
I love em!

I congratulate myself for not getting melancholic last week and hopefully the rest of this week.
It's the birthday and christmas blues all rolled into one. Sometimes I would stare into space and think of the things I've done and places I've been to. I have been through a lot that I feel way older than my age.

Maybe that's the reason why Dodo is slowly losing his appeal. His mindset is way immature for me. I don't think I'd want to be a teacher and a lover at the same time. Patience is not written in my book. Maybe if he shows me something that will make me think that he can handle me then maybe I'll reconsider.
Maybe.

Out of sight; out of mind.
I have not been seeing Vowel for weeks now. Yeah, I still manage to steal glances at him everytime he passes by. Hell, I could even stare at him from a distance because he is that clueless that I'm crushing on him.
I would still want to kiss him if given the chance. Haha! Maybe as a birthday gift? LOL!
'Nuff said.

Bah humbug!
I'm sorry but I still don't feel excited about the coming holidays. Maybe I have been turned into a cold heartless bitch.
I even told my mom not to put up our Christmas tree. I don't even want to start my Christmas shopping and although I love the people around me...I don't want to think of what presents to give them. I think of it as a tiring chore.
Maybe I should hibernate or something..to a place where there's no Christmas.

Bes and I were talking the other day about some of our colleagues and how some of them will be going to the US to study or work while some will be leaving the company to look for greener pastures.
Then we asked ourselves..what about us? Nemo will be givin birth next year. She will be busy with her baby.
Me? I don't know. I think this time I'll just go with the flow.
It'll be our third Christmas here at this company. I'm happy because we're still together. We've been through A LOT but we've managed to stay strong.
Love you, bes.

I saw my ex the other day. He was waiting for a ride with his pregnant girfriend. I kept walking as if I didn't see them.
I only have one wish: that this time he'll do the right things. That he won't take his girl for granted. Sana magtino na sha.
When we were still together, he told me he wants to get married already and I liked the thought.
Now I couldn't imagine myself in the shoes of his current girlfriend...I realized I still have so many dreams.

But I hope they're happy.
I hope we're all happy.
*sigh*

---------------
My Wishlist

Ilang tulog na lang at berdey ko na. Ilang linggo na lang at Pasko na...LECHE!

Sa mga kaibigan kong nagbabalak ako bigyan ng regalo sa darating kong kaarawan at sa pasko..nawa'y magdulot
ito ng konting tulong upang malaman ninyo ang aking mga gusto:

1. Una, kung may maibibigay kayong boypren saken e tatanawin kong utang na loob iyon sa inyo.
Alam nyo naman ang gusto ko diba? Yung matangkad, matipuno, kahit hindi gwapo basta may dating, may sense kausap at weirdo in a nice way. *winks*

2. Pero eto seryoso na: Juniper Breeze na Hand gel or Body Spray ng Bath and Body Works. Ambango!

3. Yung second season ng CSI Las Vegas. Da best yun, man!

4. Mga DVD: LOTR 2, Harry Potter 2 o di kaya yung Labyrinth na pelikula..sobrang paborita ko yun panuorin ng bata pa ko.

5. Hair Treatment sa Salon. Pa-Hot oil, Kerastase..kung anik-anik. Bahala na kayo. Kayo naman magreregalo in da pes ples eh.

6. Messenger Bag. Dati ko pa gusto nito eh kaso wala akong makita.

7. CD ng first album ni Jennifer Paige o di kaya Life for Rent ni Dido.

8. Bluetooth Device - may mura nun sa ViraMall daw. Tanong nyo si Jik-Jik

9. Handsfree na headset para sa aking bagong phone.

10. Tsaka housing na din. Yung color red ah..o kaya yun silver.

11. 128MB na Flash card para sa digicam ko..and last but not the least...

Boypren..kahit isa lang. Kahit hanggang Valentine's Day lang yung kontrata tapos break na kame pagtapos nun..

Ok na ba yan? Yan lang maisip ko ngayon eh. Hayaan nyo, pag may bigla akong nagustuhan, isulat ko dito..

PS: World Peace na din pala..tsaka wag na sana tumakbo si FPJ for President.

Updates:

I apologize..I didn't have enough zest or will power to update my blog for several days..I don't know what's wrong with me...

But here are some updates:

1.

I finally purchased a new phone; I have also ventured out of my Nokia fixation and tried out
Ericsson's Z600. It has a camera, has bluetooth, and other stuff(I don't wanna start talking tech stuff). I initially wanted Samsung's V200 but when I found out that
they almost had the same price but the Z600 has way cooler functions...so now I declare myself an Ericsson fanatic! *smiles*

I plan to buy Ericsson's MP3 player w/ Bluetooth once I get my 13th month pay...Woohoo! I can't wait!

Sheesh..I'm turning into a techno freak!

2. I was seething mad last week when I found out that I'll be coming in for work on my birthday. Total bummer!
But it's okay..I've a new toy and I'll be holding a party at the Discovery Suites on December 6 so there!

3. Here are some pics I've taken with my new toy.


Playing with my phone: Nina, Pau, me and Marvin


Twin sister


Me while doing the Plinkinting..hahah

What-Have-You's

I want to buy a new phone!!!
I've been ogling Samsung V200 for the longest time and although it doesn't have a radio..i'll prolly buy a compact radio/mp3 player to boot.
I can't wait!



--------

I'm trying to change my layout..again..
but I love Plumb soooo much so I think I'd stick with this one in the meantime..

-----------

You are a SUBTLE Flirt!

This is the female equivalent of "the strong and silent type."

Or, the whole "still waters run deep" thing.

And that makes you dangerous. Oh, yes…dangerous.

You lull men (and competitive women) into a false sense of security.

By appearing nonthreatening, quiet and unassuming, you can strike at the right moment, when no one's expecting it.

It's a method that’s tried and true over the ages and it works wonders for you.

So go on, with your sneaky self, Ms. Covert Ops.



What Kind of Flirt Are *You*?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

------------

It's Deej's birthday today..
I was able to buy something for him yesterday while I was doing some soul searching at the mall. Hehe.
Hope the party this coming December 6 as a double celebration pushes through.
If yes, then it'll be my first time to treat my co-workers to a night full of booze, Jenga, and laughter.
Can't wait!

Too Pas..Too Purious...act a POOL!

AFter getting a written warning about my Baguio escapade *relieved*..I was off to a crazy weekend..

SATURDAY morning after our shift:
We headed straight for our fave tambayan..the WHISTLESTOP. The usual crispy pata and sisig were unavailable. The waiter told us they had a lot of people the previous night..so there. But it's a good thing they still had the ever reliable RED HORSE. After a few drinks and a shot of Jose Cuervo (courtesy of Mr. Crooked Principle), we started a sorta Battle of the Sexes. Imagine a group of guys and girls...on a Saturday morning..when everyone's starting their day when it's almost night for us since we work on graveyard shift..voices getting real loud and we're discussing S-E-X and how it's different for men and for women. It was a really intense exchange of principle and lack of it. LOL.
After 5 hours, we decided to call it quits because we still have a volleyball tournament to attend (office hoopla). Obviously drunk and fruity, Bratinella and I went back to the office while the others went home to change and get their uniforms.
I remembered that Twin and I were supposed to get our hair treated so we then headed to David's Salon in Megamall while waiting for 4pm. I was really sleepy and still not sober but I needed
to get my hair fixed (gurl stuff).
Since I haven't slept since getting off from work, I took a nap while my hair was being shampooed, massaged and treated. I suddenly sat up when I realized that I couldn't hardly feel my ears and I was starting to see stars..I was going to barf! It was a good thing we had the treatment at the David's Salon on the 5th floor where they have a comfort room. So I ran inside and spilled the rest of my breakfast and what-have-you's.
So now the whole group knows about what happened and now calls me BARF QUEEN! Grrrrh!
At least we won the volleyball game! Hmpf!


SUNDAY morning:
I received a text from Enigma asking if I could meet up with them and go to Enchanted Kingdom.
We didn't know how to get there because the group drivers: Senor's watching Mariah's concert while F1 boy was nowhere to be found.
I met up with them in the office and Enigma managed to convince an FX driver to give us a lift for an agreeable price. Adventure, indeed!
I went with Deej, Enigma, Twin, D'ish, Beckham and Superman.
We tried almost all the rides there and I swear..peer pressure was really present that day!
Tried the Rollerskater, Anchor's Away, Log Jam, GO-KART (Too Pas..Too Purious...act a POOL! My fave ride!) and the Rialto (t'was boring so nuff said). We didn't get to try Rio Grande and
4D because there was a friggin' long line and we thought it'd be waste of time to stand there for eons.
I didn't get to buy some souvenirs but I got a unique one..I got scarred on my left arm from the engine of the go-kart ride.Ouch! But it's ayt..it's no biggie.
My scar have the letters IR which was prolly the engine's name. LOL! So it's kinda like tattoo..cool!

But all in all, I had a lot of fun!

BTW, here are some of our pics:



RideOlUCan!

Just got in..still looking fresh..wait til we've boarded almost all the rides..LOL!


Match the action with this caption: Wow pare, labo mo?!?!
Got it?


LOG JAM!! Woohooooo!!!


Soaking wet after going to the Log Jam..Off to the FerrisWheel to catch our breaths.


POSE for the camera!


Spooky!!


Time to go home...*sigh*

It was only my second time to go there and I know it won't be my last. Woohoo!!

P.S. And it was my off so to the person who squealed on me who'll probably read this blog: Screw your own ass, dude. This trip was legit. You aint got shit on me!

Starting Today...

"Cos' I want, tonight, what I've been waiting for
But I found, tonight, what I'd been warned about"

Starting today:

I am not going to settle for less..
I know I deserve the best.

..someone who will accept me for who I am..idiosyncrasies and all.
..someone who will accept the things I do..
..someone who will know exactly how to cheer me up or to leave me alone if i'm feeling grouchy.
..someone who will make plans with me and would occasionally surprise me with sweet nothings.
..someone who will put me in his list of priorities. I don't care if I'm not on top of the list. All that matters is that I belong to that list.
..someone who will make me feel special. Would give me occasional hugs and kisses.
..we may have different views and ideals but that won't keep us from loving each other.
..someone I can talk with without even uttering a word. Comfortable silence is welcomed.


I have been through so much..
and I think I owe it to myself to not settle for someone who just happens to be there.



------------

Absolutely (Story Of A Girl)
By Nine Days

This is the story of a girl,
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!
And while she looked so sad in photographs,
I absolutely love her,
WHEN SHE SMILES!...
How many days in a year?
She woke up with hope but she only found tears!
And I can be so insincere,
Making her promises never for real!
As long as she stands there waiting,
Wearing the holes in the soles of her shoes!
How many days disapeer?
When you look in the mirror so how do you choose?
Your clothes never wear as well the next day!
And your hair never falls in quite the same way!
But you never seem to run out of things to say!...

THIS IS THE STORY OF A GIRL,
WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORLD!
AND WHILE SHE LOOKED SO SAD IN PHOTOGRAPHS,
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER,
WHEN SHE SMILES!...

How many lovers stay?
Just to put of with this shit day after day!
(the last line was changed to
To put up with every day and all day! for the music video)
How did we wind up this way?
Watching our mouths for the words that we say.
As long as we stand here waiting,
Wearing the clothes of the souls that we choose!
How do we get there today?
When we're walking to far for the price of our shoes!
Your clothes never wear as well the next day!
And your hair never falls in quite the same way!
But you never seem to run out of things to say!...

THIS IS THE STORY OF A GIRL,
WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORLD!
AND WHILE SHE LOOKED SO SAD IN PHOTOGRAPHS,
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER,
WHEN SHE SMILES!...

This is the story of a - girl!
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!
And while she looks so sad and lonely there,
I absolutely love her,
WHEN SHE SMILES!...
This is the story of a girl!
Her pretty face she hid from the world!
And while she looks so sad and lonely there,
I absolutely love her,
WHEN SHE SMILES!
When she smiles!

Ignored..

Yeah..

That's what I feel today..
ignored and utterly useless.

Ignored by friends..friends I used to go out with everyday..
I admit that I have not been spending time with them..and I have my reasons..
and I'm thinking they have reasons also for not keeping me in the loop..
but not being asked to go out to breakfast..to watch a movie or go to the mall..
Maybe they're thinking that I rarely go out with them anymore so what's the use of asking me..
They do have a point..but there's a thing called courtesy..or am I still their friend?

Am I out of the group just because I don't go out with them that much?
Am I out of the picture because I've been spending time with other friends too?

I don't know..I just feel so ignored right now.



-------------

Sometimes I ask myself these questions:

Am I with the right crew? Right set of friends?

Am I really doing something worthwhile in my life?

Am I really gonna be someone someday?

Am I really a good person?

With all the things I'm doing right now..will I be getting what I deserve?

Sometimes I wonder about a lot of things..
sometimes I get an answer..
sometimes it's just utter silence that faces me and all I can do is look up in the sky and pray for rain.

Birthdays and Christmas..

 

I surprised myself today because I was actually feeling ok.

I found it sweet that my youngest brother missed me while I was away last weekend. He's always like that. He always notices whenever one family member's not home and ask of their whereabouts. I love him. *smiles*

It's also nice to be home. I only got to see them last Tuesday morning and they were dying to find out what happened. Although I didn't get to buy them something (w/c I always do whenever I go out of town), my Dad even motioned me to join them for breakfast so I could fill them in on what we did in Subic. Sweet. I love my family. *smiles*

Aside from the ocassional change in expression on my face every time I get to hear Christmas songs (blech); I'm pretty much okay. I am still dreading the day I'd have to add one more year to my age and I remain antsy about the whole Christmas shebang.

I had breakfast with Deej and Twin yesterday and the topic were three upcoming birthdays and of course, Christmas (boo!). Deej is excited about his birthday. He's even planning to hold a party in Discovery Suites or some other hotel. Twin's pretty stoked too because she'll be going to HK for her day. I don't think I can join 'em. Aside from the fact that I don't have a passport, I want to go there with Rad. She's even happy about the whole subject of Christmas...good for her!

Me?

I'm still dreading my birthday. Sure I have lotsa friends but I've always wanted to share my day with someone special. Have a quiet romantic dinner or walk along the shores of Boracay..*sighs*
It's not that I don't appreciate my friends..I do. I really do. But it's this nagging feeling inside of me that I've been alone for the longest time and I feel that it's high time that I let someone take care of me.

If having a boyfriend as a gift is actually possible..then that would be the thing I want for my b-day! haha! AS IF!!

The Christmas thing is actually the same. I don't want to be lonely but I can't help dreading the 25th. I remembered spending Christmas morning with Deej and Skye because my folks spent the day with relatives and I didn't want to stay home and sulk.

I know I won't be totally lonely this coming season..for the simple fact that I have my family whose idiosyncrasies I have come to love. I also have friends whose loyalty I have come to know and appreciate.

I keep telling myself that 'it's all about how I look at life'..telling myself that I'll find someone and I'd be able to turn my dreams into reality.. that day will come.

Weekend in Subic..

After composing the dreaded letter to save my hind..I couldn't wait to step out of the office and go out of town!

* Went to Subic with OverPacker and Confused. Estranged Wife No More (EWNM) picked us up at the terminal and we had dinner and a few drinks at their place.
* We didn't get to go to the beach but we went to Casino Filipino and for me that was the ultimate high!
I didn't know that EWNM's dad was such a biggie in Olongapo..
We entered the Casino without showing I.D.s and paying the entrance fee. We went straight to the VIP room.There were quite a few people inside the room and they were ushered out to make room for US!
Hah! Bigatin talaga ang dad ng aking friend!
Then he handed us some moolah and motioned for us to start playing the slot machine. It was so addicting! I love the ka-ching ka-ching sound it makes and everytime we win something..
We really had a lot of fun.
We were a rowdy bunch because everytime we score some money with the machine we give out a cheer. Turned out the row we're playing at was luck because the other players kept winning also.
We decided to move on when we finally won some moolah to sponsor our SPA the next day.
We headed to a bar and had a couple of drinks before we called it a night.

Sunday was spent at the SPA.
With the money we scored last night..it was definitely a pampering vacation for all of us. OverPacker and Confused had a massage while EWNM had a foot spa and me, a facial. It was really refreshing and I found their methods really good.
So unlike the Spas and facial care center in Manila.
It was really refreshing..I had a facial and for my hair: I had it relaxed and then cellophaned.

Our weekend was spent pigging out, getting drunk and being vain. YEAH!

Individual Issues we're battling with:

Confused was feeling bad because according to her I have been pretty busy with my 'new' friends; that I no longer have time for her and I don't even answer her texts. I admit..I'm a bit guilty.
I have been spending majority of my time with colleagues.
We used to go to the mall every Sunday. She'll just text me and we'd meet up for a movie, a day at the salon or just plain spend time with each other.
We don't get to do this anymore.
She's right; people do change. I noticed that while we're on vacation.
I was kinda irritated the way she'd talk non stop on the phone. I mean..c'mon..we're supposed to be on vacation! I found it really offending.
I wouldn't do that if I'm with friends.
WEll, I just kept quiet coz I don't want to ruin our moods.
She actually has a dilemma right now and it involved her new bestfriend..honestly, I don't wanna say something about it.
So 'nuff said.

OverPacker was at it again. She has been crushing on this guy for the longest time and honestly, she has the makings of a sugar mommy. She went to Cebu..alone just to be with the guy who's not even her boyfriend.
I mean, it's ok with me..if she was at least able to score some points with the guy! But she didn't! So when I heard that the guy will be coming to Manila to watch Mariah's concert - guess who bought the tickets?! Mah saint of a friend!
I made her swear that this time she'll make a move and not be dead ass drunk before any action takes place.
We even thought of a ploy: just give the guy directions on where to get the tickets for the Mariah concert. give him directions to a hotel..hotel room number..then place the ticket in between her thighs and let the guy get it..without using his hands...
hahaha! Kinky! =P

Estranged Wife No More's happy. She's in a relationship now and she's working on the annulment for her ass of a husband. Her kids are real angels..majority of the pics I took during our stay were mostly of her kids..they're soooo cute!
To add to that,she has the only mom we can invite to have a drinking fest with us. She's soo cool! I can't imagine my mom drinking RedHorse and Vodka Ice with us!Ewww! =P

I'm grateful that EWNM is somehow our tightening bond in the group.
And me?
Well, I'm okay with my work right now. I love the people I'm with and I've learned how to compromise. Again I've learned to accept change..that's happening to me and to the people around me.

I guess that's about what happened in Subic. I can't wait til next Sunday..next stop is EK and Tagaytay with my colleagues! Yey!

Here are some pics:


Grueling traffic even before we got to the bus terminal..whew!


EWNM's daughter..she loves making faces whenever I'm taking her pictures! She's a cutie!


Confused doing the PLINGKANTING


On our way to the parlor..Woohoo!


Walang magawa....LOL!


Gels por Sel


Finally...on our way home na!

SoulKarma

I've been listening to MP3s the whole night and I chanced upon some songs that really speaks
about what I feel..

A. Galileo by the Indigo Girls
'How long till my soul gets it right
Can any human being ever reach that kind of light
I call on the resting soul of Galileo
King of night vision
King of insight'

:I love the line - How long till my soul gets it right..
When will I get what I deserve?
when will I finally get everything right?

B. Shifting Sand by Caedmon's Call

'My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace'

: This is what I feel now..this is what's happening to me right now..
Indeed..I stand on grace..

C. See You When You're 40 by Dido

'Cos' I want, tonight, what I've been waiting for
But I found, tonight, what I'd been warned about

: I finally know what I've been wanting for a long time -
a warm hand placed intertwined with mine; a strong arms to keep me steady and won't let me fall
a heart that will be true to me.

:I also found out what I've always been warned about..not to be too trusting.
I tend to forget that I'm already a part of the real world and I can't spill my guts out
to just anybody coz they might turn against me..
that's what's happening to right now..
so good luck to poor ol' me..

'So see me when youre 40, lost and all alone
being comforted by strangers you'll never need to know
not sad because you lost me
but sad because you thought it was cool to be sad'


Don't ask me..I just liked the lyrics..Dido rocks!

-------------



Now's the right moment to test my writing prowess..
compose a memo to save my ass.

I called in sick for work but I was really somewhere(baguio).
Now you'd think that's a normal happening in an employee's life but not for me.
Some smart-ass-know-it-all and probably a hey-look-at-me-i'm-a-model-employee squealed about my escapade by sending an anonymous email to my superior..
and in the process almost toasted my ass.

I 'fessed up because I wasn't actually sure if they have the evidence to back the claim up..
and my superiors are actually really nice so I think I owe them the truth.
It somehow softened the blow..but i'm not off the hook yet.

I'm ready to face the blow..

Together with my friends, we now have a few possible culprits and we're keeping an eye out for new characters..
a wolf in sheep's clothing..
a definite THORN among the ROSES..as what Nemo would say.

If you have something against me then just talk to me..
don't go behind my back because there's a thing called karma, dear.
Remember that.

YOU

I feel violated and I am seething mad.

I write what I feel; so sue me.
I dont expect my writing to punch me right in the face..
for the simple fact that I tend to innocuously give life to all that Im feeling..
only to be judged by the people I know..

I write what I feel; so hang me.
This is a free country.
I hurt but I dont squeal..I cry but I dont wail..
I feel and observe but I dont talk about it.
I write it.

I write what I feel. So kill me.
This is the only world I know.
This is the only friend I know when I feel all things go up against me.

You invaded my privacy.
Do you know how that feels?
You invaded my only solace; now I dont know where else to go.

Just mind your own business.
Live and let live.
This is my world.
This is my blog.

SOD OFF

------------------

'Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to feel smug about,' Charles Wallace said. 'Why should I disillusion them? '(A WRINKLE IN TIME)

Random Musings..

Im lonesome and I dont know why..
Its still four weeks before my birthday but already Im feeling melancholic..

~ ~ ~
I dont even know if Id want to be around friends
Or if Id want to be by my own sorry self

~ ~ ~
Is it really normal for people to feel depressed if it’s almost their birthday?


=================

Weekend is just around the corner..
I cant wait to get out of the office..to get away from everybody..
and spend the weekend in Subic! Woohoo!
I will be with close friends from my previous job.
People I have not been spending time with lately.

I cant wait!
Maybe the change in scenery and the people Id be spending time with
would prove beneficial for my health and happiness..haha!
Yeah right!

==================

You are really starting to grow on me.
I dont even know if its a good thing or itll be the death of me.
It kinda reminds me of high school – puppy loves, crushes and pa-cute stuff..
I dont think I like it.
Bummer.

==================

Some more Baguio pics..



Cramped CRV..8 people inside! whew!


We are a bunch of posers..I admit!


We love posing in front of cameras and making faces! Lol!


Family picture?

Pending

Some people were saying that I have a lotta boylets right now..

Little did they know that I would bemore than willing to trade all those pending relationships just to have a solitary figure standing near and loving me..

Yes. I can feel the loneliness right now. *sniff*



~ ~ ~

My past life diagnosis:

I dont know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.
You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Greenland around the year 1050.
Your profession was that of a medic, surgeon or herbalist.

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Ruthless character, carefully weighing his decisions in critical situations, with excellent self-control and strong will. Such people are generally liked, but not always loved.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your lesson is to study, to practice and to use the wisdom that lies within the psychological sciences and in ancient manuscripts. With strong faith and hard work you will reach your real destiny in your present life.

Do you remember now?

got this here


~ ~ ~

Minsan pinagsisihan ko na binigay ko ang link ng blog ko sa mga taong nakaka-kilala sa akin: bespren, mga kaibigan, ka-opisina, crush, manliligaw atbp. Minsan kase tungkol sa kanila yung gusto kong isulat eh.

Minsan naman okay lang na alam nila dahil di masyado personal ang mga sinusulat ko. O kaya hindi ako masyadong apektado kung malaman nilang tungkol sa kanila yung sinulat ko.

Ewan ko ba..ngayon na may nararamdaman akong kakaiba na hindi ko masyado ma-isalarawan kundi sa pagsulat dito..hindi ko magawa dahil baka mabasa pa ng taong gusto kong itukoy.

*buntong hininga *

Baguio Trip

Im finally coming out in the open.
I almost lost my hide and my job because of this trip.

Here are some pics:


Brunch at Burnham! Yummy!


Bunch o posers in front of The Mansion


Bump car! Fave ride!


Busy with Jenga!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/summer_wells/2fa2aeb3.jpg
Goofin off after a couple of shots of Mr. Cuervo and a couple of bottles of Red Horse! Bangenge!

I really really had a great time. It was cold there and although I didnt have a special someone to cuddle with; the trip was all worth it because I was with friends.

Dream of me

TopherXpress: When you get a chance, tell Mei-An I say hi. She was in my dreams last night. It was so real and so intense.

He missed me..
He actually sent me a message via AOL. He wanted to know how I was doing and stuff. A lotta things were on my mind so I just said my obligatory Im fine and What about you?
I never really took the time to even think that he was really missing me. How insensitive of me!

So as a tribute to this fine being who made me feel loved and special for a short but memorable moment in time; I want to insert this sorta poem or what-have-you which I have posted before:

~ I Just Do ~

I dont know what Im feeling.
Im okay awhile ago.
Until now.

Im happy for him.
I really am.
I know he is a loving husband.
I know he is a blissfully contented father.
Im glad he is happy.
I really am.

Its just that I suddenly missed him.
I missed his smile.
I missed his laugh.
I missed feeling appreciated.
I missed being on top of the world.

Maybe its because I envy him.
I envy his happiness.
He found a home.
A wife that loves him.
A kid that adores him.
What we had was short-lived.
But that brief moment was heaven for me.

I have moved on.
I already did.
We are good friends now.
And missing him does not mean I am bitter.
In fact I wish him happiness.
I wish him all the happiness in the world.

I just miss him. End of story..





* * *





I am absolutely brooding!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.


Is it placid darkness or just a quiet calm style that sets you apart?

Virtues: Appreciation for deep thought is important, and no, I don't mean "Deep Thoughts" by good ole Jack Handey, though that must be widely loved. Humor-- light and dark-- is a staple, and absolutely necessary is your art. Literature, music; it's all important to your self expression.

Aspirations: There's a wide range of possibilities for any thoughtful person. Especially common would be artistry; writer, painter, composer; even the comedy field could use some help. If you're interested in politics, maybe a professional cynic would suit. ;) I'm sure you'd like to express your views openly (not limited to politics, but thinking in general) as your views of the human race are vast and intricate. Socrates would be proud.

Quirks: The peppy and preppy, the superficial and the artificial.

Factors: What you need is your downtime; peace and quiet. Relaxing with a good book, listening to some music. Thinking is a big factor, be it sophistic or plainly dark.

Future: As you continue to develop your views, self expression is inevitable. An outlet career aligning with your views would be ideal, and you may even enjoy a family to settle down with. Until then, I'm sure you'll develop your studies and talents to their fullest.