Death by Christmas Lights

I just had the biggest shock of my life..

'Pls pray for Roma, Mei and Emil who perished in early dawn fire today at their home in Makati..'

I got this text from my Mom and I had to read it several times to take it all in.

A freak accident. They died because they forgot to turn off their Christmas lights. For that they were trapped inside their home and got scorched alive. In an interview I saw on TV, a neighbor even saw someone from the group trying to break the window but couldn't and they were all screaming for help. I could just cringe at the thought of what they've been through.

I considered those people angels 'coz they helped my parents build something for themselves and I can't imagine them meeting an accident as tragic as this one. We considered them as family and I hate it how easily life has been taken from each of them.

I hardly had any sleep that afternoon. I even had a nightmare where my li'l brother died and my crying so hard was the only thing that woke me up.

It's ironic how death can sneak in without us noticing. It can really be unfair if it's really the good, kind-hearted people that goes. It makes me want to ask myself why I'm still here and why I'm still alive and they're not?

Now I'm scared to close my eyes and sleep. I'm afraid I can also go anytime and I'm not able to tell the people I love how I feel for them.

WAKE UP CALL!

I'm S'ennuyant De Vous

I'm missing you...

..like a cold summer afternoon..
like the snow coming down in june..
like a wedding without a groom..
I'm missing you.
I'm the desert without the sand..
You're the man without a woman..
I'm a ring without a hand..
I'm missing you..

Jerk as you are..I miss you.
I miss you, I miss what we could've been if only you'll let me in.
I'm tired of waiting..I'm starting to doubt my self waiting for you here in the cold.
I tried to tell myself that you are worth something. that you are something worth fighting for.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they were right all along.
Should I continue fighting for you? Should I continue fighting for someone who doesn't want to fight for me?

Even God had to rest. I am way past my expiration date. I am close to tears coz I'm tired of waiting.

How can someone like you so much but won't have enough balls to fight for you?

How can someone like you not treat me right?
How can someone like you not see me for who I am?
How can someone like you see that I care for you deeply?
How can someone like you be stubborn enough to admit that you need me?

How can I be stupid enough to hope that this time will be different?
How can I be stupid enough to wish that there's hope for both of us?
How can I be stupid enough to want a relationship out of what we have?
How can I be stupid enough to feel for someone like you?

They say you don't deserve me. Maybe you truly don't.
Maybe I've yet to realize it and start to move on...


'It's important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you truly let go.'

I've lost Me

I've lost my gift to write..

..to laugh at my faults, to sing alongside my fears and to smile at every new mornings I see.

My heart, my soul and my being.. all gone.



He stole it from me..and I don't know how to take it back..

I don't know how to describe my weekend..it was exciting, fun and tiring all at the same time..

I was able to spend time w/ my family, relatives, my colleagues and GT all in one weekend.
GT and i spent some quality time last Friday before my shift. He showed me the new office they'll be moving in. He introduced me to his immediate supervisor and for that we were endlessly teased. His supervisor asked if i was the better half he's talking about and he answered w/ a meek 'kinda'; all that time avoiding my eyes coz he's beet red. We were both blushing uncontrollably and to be honest, I didn't know how to react to the fact that his supervisor knows about us. We then went to Starbucks to get my caffeine dose for the day and it was a nice feeling to have my hands held by him. I realized how much I'm missing the guy.

Saturday night I attended a birthday party of colleagues and friends but had to leave early to steal a few hours w/ GT before I go w/ my family to Loyola Memorial Park. After spending a whole day at the cemetery, I was only able to catch some zzzs when we finally went home that evening. Talk about a really exhausting day!

I would still be smiling from ear to ear today but I still feel like I haven't had much rest. But who's complaining right?

I just had a blast this weekend and I would not have traded it for anything else.