Goings-on

Last Saturday was spent in a fantastic evening with Jason Mraz..
Okay, I was exaggerating..it wasn't a date..I went to his concert at the Aliw theatre.

I confess that Jason Mraz actually reminds me of my close guy bud who's in NY now. Don't ask me why coz I have no idea.

I had a really grand time although I must admit, my eyelid seemed to be pulled by gravity when he sung some unknown tracks. Haha!
I guess I didn't do my assignment.
But to sum it all up, he was highly, phantasmigorically adorable! He was a real sweetheart who knows how to connect with the crowd.

*sighs

I'm not posting any pictures here because as some of you know, cameras aren't allowed inside the Aliw Theatre although I was able to snuck it in.
Unluckily, one usher caught me getting some neat video of Jason. But it's ayt, I managed to record a couple of songs via my ultra cool phone..haha!

His main theme was the universal thing called 'love'. It made me cringe a bit but he's cute so I let it pass.

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I saw a pic of my bestfriend in college while browsing through my Friendster's list of friends. She looked so different and so happy.
I have completely lost track on all the happenings in her life
I'm not blaming anyone but we both promised to meet up for a coffee chat one of these days..

Still on Friendster; I saw something there that made me reflect on how I was as a college gal..

Although the course I took back then was for people with strong personality and creativity..I kept to my group.
I have a few acquaintances but I never really mingled. Maybe that's the reason why they called my Ice Queen and only a handful of guys actually walked up to me and professed their feelings.
I remember I was already my usual bubbly self but majority was spent hiding inside a hole. I was even known as the famous 'walk-out' queen..go ask my barkada back then.
I guess it was in college that I realized I'm more of a listener than a talker; I would rather write about what I feel than sharing it to the others by talking.
I suddenly realized that I just came out of my shell when I finally started working, meeting real people and experiencing genuine pain and suffering...

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I watched a couple of DVDs and this quote from the movie 'How to Deal' (Mandy Moore) stuck like glue to my head..

'I'm in no mood to wait for you to grow up..'

I'm just hoping I don't get to use this line someday..


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A letter for a friend of mine:

Dear Friend,


You say someone shattered your heart into tiny bite-size pieces. You even say that you think you will never find your heart beating for someone again.
I stood beside you..stayed with you while you cried, wailed and then sobered. You even subtly told us that you want to kill yourself which made me go berserk.
You're still alive now and that makes us all breathe a sigh of relief knowing that you will momentarily hold off taking your life.
I know you're still hurting.
I understand that's why I stood by you. I no longer wallow with you as you cry about the past. I merely stand there as your support because I know you will finally
see the light of day and see your worth.

You say you want to go away. You will not hear any protests from me. I chose to support you.
I just uttered a simple 'good luck' and 'take care'.
I just wish that you stay firm with the decision you made. But just in case it fails, I am just here.
You are a mature and independent woman. You know what you want and I know you'll get through this.

Just know that you have friends back home.

Take care dear.

I love you.

Irony of sorts

Lately, life has been showing its share of ironies..
Disappointments, disillusionment and disenchantment seemed to flood my frontdoor.

:My Valentine's Day non-date..I kinda got over it because even if I wasn't able to get a single flower or even a decent and valid invitation for a date, I was able to get a package from my best bud who's in NY. He said it's his Heart's Day gift for me. Such a sweetie!

:My ever continuing battle with bills and responsibilities at home..Money talk is such utter torture for me. I hate seeing my parents' head sewn together trying to make ends meet.
I actually got offended when my mom mentioned that our family's having a crisis then corrected herself and said that only she and my dad are actually the one who's in a crisis. I'm their daughter for God's sake..they're my 'rents so their prollem is my prollem also. Damn!

:My non existent contentment with work..which will someday lead to become my non existent future if I kept at it. I am still completely clueless about how I would want my life to be.
When I think about it..the more I come to a conclusion that it's pretty simplistic in nature: I wanna travel..preferably with a loved one, have lotsa money to keep me and my would-be family alive and last is to be happy.
That's it..that's basically it.

I have lost the drive to even try to be a successful career woman..
I swear, one of these days, someone will gather me at the side and slap the bejesus out of me.

Any takers?

Please?

------------

Take these chances
Place them in a box until a quieter time
Lights down, you up and die

Ants Marching by Dave Matthew

One of the boys?

Me?
One of the boys?

WTF!
Yeah, I do get along with guys very well.
Yeah, I can gulp bottles of Red Horse with them..guffaw..drop dirty jokes..
And yes, I'm not afraid to act myself when around them..
and for that, they regard me as one of the boys?!?!

That is not acceptable! Abso-fucking-lutely not!*bangs fist on the table

Am I not that attractive? Am I not to be regarded as a dame that can smite a guy's heart?
I think that from all the compliments I get, it somehow makes me believe that I look okay..I am beautiful..
Then why in the fucking hell would someone think that I'm just barkada-material to some of the guys..especially to someone whom I happen to like a lot.

Really not acceptable.

I am a woman! Treat me like one!

-------------

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile..

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are

Tap on my window knock on my door
I wanna make you feel beautiful

-She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5

Questions

I finally got my sign - - > it's time to move on..

I didn't land the promotion. My second try..my second downfall. I'm happy for those who got it..they truly deserved it. I also know that I do...it's just that 'they' thought otherwise.

O well...
I'll get over it somehow..

I have been asking for a sign if I should start moving outside my comfort zone and saunter to unknown regions. Now I got my answer: It's time.
I started thinking and weighing all my options. It kinda tugs me left and right because I can't selfishly leave all these crap and venture into another job...mainly because of my family...
And to add to that, I would be leaving my friends...people I have built a tight bond with throughout my stay with this company. I love (and sometimes hate) them with a passion and I know I can't find a much cooler group in any other company.

But I know it's fit that I move up somewhere...
see myself grow into a more positive individual..I am ripe for the picking and it's only right that I lay all my cards and pick the one I'd deal with..

It's a tough decision that I sometimes find myself procrastinating and holding off resolutions and choices.

I am definitely standing on a crossroad and I don't know which way to go...


Stare into God's face
Trying to find my place
Keeps avoiding me
That trace of who I want to be
Suffered injustice
Don't know what trust is
It slipped away
But I trust I'll find it someday

Questions - Jennifer Paige

Boredom kills

I'm being paid to go on training today..and I'm not even listening to Fat-so the trainer.
I couldn't help it 'coz my mind kept wandering and my lids kept dropping..
I almost wished I know how to sleep with my eyes open so that no one will be able to make it that I'm snoring deep inside the bowels of my mind.
F#@k it!
I'm sick, I'm sleepy and I just want all of them to disappear!
ARRRGGGH!!!

In other news:
I keep getting all sorts of reminder that Valentine's Day is 'just around the corner'...
well, I've got news for you guys...I DON'T CARE?!!!!!!


hmpf...


Still..in other news..here are some pics from my Subic get-away:

Twin, Viancs, me and Kaje. We ate at this Old El Paso place and the enchilada was H-O-T..I mean really hot!

Icka and Bryan..suck cute angels!

Me doing the Lola Basiang thing..

Me and Twin after doing some shopping at the Adidas outlet store inside SBMA

woke up at around 5am to wait for the sun to rise and take some pics. The sun did rise...but it did on the back of the resort...Bummer! And hey...could y'all guess what I was doing while taking this shot? Hehehe..smoking!!!

The Oceanview Beach Resort

I'm supposed to tell y'all about my trip to Subic this weekend.
But I wasn't feeling well so I'll try and post something here tomorrow.
Y'all can check the pics instead...
ciao!