Birthdays and Christmas..

 

I surprised myself today because I was actually feeling ok.

I found it sweet that my youngest brother missed me while I was away last weekend. He's always like that. He always notices whenever one family member's not home and ask of their whereabouts. I love him. *smiles*

It's also nice to be home. I only got to see them last Tuesday morning and they were dying to find out what happened. Although I didn't get to buy them something (w/c I always do whenever I go out of town), my Dad even motioned me to join them for breakfast so I could fill them in on what we did in Subic. Sweet. I love my family. *smiles*

Aside from the ocassional change in expression on my face every time I get to hear Christmas songs (blech); I'm pretty much okay. I am still dreading the day I'd have to add one more year to my age and I remain antsy about the whole Christmas shebang.

I had breakfast with Deej and Twin yesterday and the topic were three upcoming birthdays and of course, Christmas (boo!). Deej is excited about his birthday. He's even planning to hold a party in Discovery Suites or some other hotel. Twin's pretty stoked too because she'll be going to HK for her day. I don't think I can join 'em. Aside from the fact that I don't have a passport, I want to go there with Rad. She's even happy about the whole subject of Christmas...good for her!

Me?

I'm still dreading my birthday. Sure I have lotsa friends but I've always wanted to share my day with someone special. Have a quiet romantic dinner or walk along the shores of Boracay..*sighs*
It's not that I don't appreciate my friends..I do. I really do. But it's this nagging feeling inside of me that I've been alone for the longest time and I feel that it's high time that I let someone take care of me.

If having a boyfriend as a gift is actually possible..then that would be the thing I want for my b-day! haha! AS IF!!

The Christmas thing is actually the same. I don't want to be lonely but I can't help dreading the 25th. I remembered spending Christmas morning with Deej and Skye because my folks spent the day with relatives and I didn't want to stay home and sulk.

I know I won't be totally lonely this coming season..for the simple fact that I have my family whose idiosyncrasies I have come to love. I also have friends whose loyalty I have come to know and appreciate.

I keep telling myself that 'it's all about how I look at life'..telling myself that I'll find someone and I'd be able to turn my dreams into reality.. that day will come.