Confessions of a (20-sumthin) Drama Queen

Realizations after my one-on-one conversation(with GT):
 
...We're still physically attracted to each other.
...We're both in need of someone to make us special.
...but we're both unsure if we're ready to commit..
...he talks about missing having someone to cuddle with, to kiss, to hug, to spend time with.. ...while i, on the otherhand, miss having that strong connection with someone and sharing a piece of me and not be scared of losing myself in the process.
...at least we agreed on something, and that is: we miss having a relationship but it was for totally different reasons and totally different levels. 
...we're so clueless on what to do with this newfound feelings that we are as good as any blind beggar working their way around the streets.
 
I admit that there are moments when I'm totally not liking him but there are also scary moments where I just want to lean over and kiss him. Sometimes I would hate how his hair is parted but other times I would totally dig him wearing a cap. There are times when I couldn't look him in the eye because I'm just not interested..but there are also moments when I couldn't look him in the eye, afraid he might see right through me and find out how I want him.
 
He regards our Subic escapade of some significance more than I did which flatters me immensely. The feeling of being wanted can be so overpowering that I forgot myself that night and went for the kill. I accepted his tongue lashing challenge but halfway through I started looking for a certain feeling of lightheadedness but it wasn't there. I couldn't even bear admitting that I even opened my eyes to catch a glimpse of how he looks like in the dark with his lips pressed on mine.
 
After that happening, I finally accepted the fact that it was all physical and I would then discourage any future meetings with him. 
 
But I surprised myself when I started reminiscing about that night at the veranda. It was like a tryst that wasn't supposed to happen. I even accepted that both of us are just physically attracted to each other and the only reason why we're trying to keep our hands off each other is that we don't wanna carry the burden of 'what'll happen' and 'what now' questions after we've done the dreaded deed.
 
We both owed up to that feeling but we're both clueless as to what should be done about it.
 
I guess that would count as a big cloud keeping us from re-affirming our spurred relationship before. I don't think I'm ready to jump into 'that' level yet. Even my friends are discouraging me and kept saying he's a walking-talking 'bad news'. 
 
Inside I know they're right. Our minds clearly run on different wave lengths and I'm almost sure that a 'we' would not work out (for the second time). 
 
Sometimes I ask myself why I kept reeling in guys with bad reputations. Am I a magnet for such? I dunno. I hope not.