Turning Point

I remember my Philosophy professor sharing with us that there is no such thing as a turning point, awakening, a major break and such...that we make it all up just to make certain decisions and happenings sound important than what it really are.

But I think I have really reached the turning point in my life wherein I suddenly ran out of options.
It's as if I'm standing on the edge of a cliff and I don't know if I should make the dreaded drop or retrace my steps and return to where I came from..

My future's as foggy and bleary as a bathroom mirror can get after you ran a hot bath. I have a few ideas but they're all as good as unlikely to happen.

I've thought of applying for a US Visa or something. But when i think about it..I only wanna go there just so I can..you know...be there. I've always wanted to travel to some distant and unknown place.
I've also thought of getting a job at a cruise ship because it has always been my dream to go on a cruise with a loved one. If I work there,I think it'sgonna be the cheapest way to travel..because I'll be working and enjoying at the same time.

You might have noticed that I didn't write any plan that concerns me staying rooted here in the Philippines. I actually don't see myself working here in our country on a long shot. Maybe I'm choosing not to think of plans for here or I just don't see myself staying here and watch my country rot(I'm a pessimistic bitch).

Of course those are just dreams. I'm not forgetting that I have responsibilities at home..my 'rents and my sibs. I sometimes find it hard that I have to postpone certain decisions and moves in my life because I've to prioritize my family.

*sighs*

It's hard. And it doesn't help that I'm seeing colleagues and close friends coming into terms with their dreams and are all making big and important choices.

What about me? What the f*ck do I have planned for myself? Maybe you know..maybe you can tell me..coz I am totally clueless...