Kill me softly..

How does one say goodbye?

Why would one even want to say goodbye prematurely..let's say..by ending one's life?

It's really not a mystery to me because I would be a hypocrite if I tell you all that killing myself didn't even cross my mind..ever.

I remember back in high school when I had a huge fight with my mom. I locked myself up in my room, crying and wishing I was never born.
When I almost got my name blottered at the Police Station when I was in first year college because my parents thought I got kidnapped or something when I didn't come home after a party. When I finally came home, they threatened to get me off school and lock me inside our house for good.
When I broke up with my boyfriend two years ago because I found out he has been cheating on me and he hasn't stopped talking dope.

There were still more instances that I willed myself dead..but they were always for just one reason..
for the people that I love to realize that they've lost me and would in turn realize my importance.

I pictured myself dead..floating above them..seeing em all cry infront of my body..wishing I was stil alive... (I'm sick, eh?)

When I think about it now..I would always feel stupid and immature. I know now that everyone goes through something like this and always..almost always..they come out scathed but way stronger and wiser then before.

This subject came to mind because I have a dear friend who's going through a heartbreak right now. She was crying like there's going to be a hole in her life just because she lost someone. She think she's lost everything when she lost him. She thought everything will end if she would end hers.
I tried to tell her that committing this sin would not only merit a gate pass to hell but she'll be wasting all the hardships and achievements she made. I tried to tell her that this one being who broke her heart is not worth depriving the rest of the people who love her of the opportunity to make her feel special. I tried to reassure her that everything will pass and she'll get over it.

I just hope she listens..
I just wish she realizes how important life is and that one doesn't have a right to end it just because one trips and falls.