Cheesy as I can be!?!

It's the end of work week and I'm obviously trying to NOT do a lotta work.

I found myself browsing through my inbox and I chanced upon this goodbye email I sent to the guy who made me feel sooo special:

WARNING: A lotta cheesy stuff coming your way! Hahah!

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hi baby....( i guess after the big day i won't be allowed to call you my baby, sweetie, darling or in short MINE)

i miss you more than ever...i really do...thinking that i only get to be close to you til next week...it kills me...i really don't know what i'll do if i don't get to chat or talk to you...I am more afraid that once you get back from your honeymoon...if we decide to still talk..what are we gonna talk about? 'how was your wedding?' or will i just ping you if i have work-related questions to ask...i am dreading that day...i really do. And one other reason why I really would want to change shift is becuase i am dreading to get those "X married Y...so what's gonna happen to you now?"-look that my close friends here at the office are gonna give me. I really hate to go through that stage. I am wishing so hard that I could just disappear for a time and then come back healed or at least i get to skip that stage...(cheesy! rolls eye)

Sometimes I feel bad because I can really see that both of us were trying to escape reality..with those talks we had these past few weeks..if someone would only look at our thread, they wouldn't think that we are going through this shit. There were a couple of times that I feel happy and blessed because inspite of the distance, i really can feel your love(cheesy!)...but there are other times that i kinda hate you because you are trying to keep me only to drop me as soon as you get married...

I know that our love has no end(cheesy)...but the fact still remains...you are getting married...

When you left for the States...i was a bit okay knowing that my memory of you is as clear as if you're infront of me...so clear and so close i can almost touch you...and now that the final curtain(cheesy!) is down...i'm afraid i am actually gonna feel the distance...i won't be able to feel your love anymore...and i won't be able to make you feel that you are so, so special to me. I don't think i would get to feel this way for somebody else...i don't think i would ever get to feel this loved by somebody else...

Thank you for coming into my life...
Thank you for letting me feel so special....
Thank you for teaching me to how to really love inspite of the distance...i really get to feel your love...
Thank you for loving me...I wouldn't want it to end...I would want to spend my life with you...grow old with you...(cheesy)
Thank you for letting me feel all these things...I will be forever grateful...grateful that you came into my life...

I am not saying goodbye...we still have a week to go...
I am not also saying that I will be waiting...but I'm afraid that's exactly what I'm gonna do...(rolls eye)
I am not placing a period or an end to whatever we have shared together...I guess there's just this special place that we are destined to go to...to be together...but now is not the time...
I am not losing hope that love will always find a way....but I am not thinking ill of your marriage with Y...nor hoping it'll come to an end soon...
I am not saying goodbye...I have tried so many times...but I can't bring myself to walk away from what I feel for you...
I am not saying goodbye.........(rolls eye)

I love you...I always will...(CHEESY!!!)
I love you...that phrase I may need to silently say from now on...
I love you...nothing's gonna change what I feel..(rolls eye)
I love you...I may not be with you right now..but I really hope you could feel my love...
I love you...I'm here...you won't lose me...
I love you...you'll be able to find me again...in time...


I will miss you...
I will miss you forever...
I wish only the best for you...
Stay happy...you are loved...
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I didn't know I could be that cheesy when I'm in love! Haha!
Well, if you guys want to find out what happened to him:
He's already married. He now has a cute baby girl. Sometimes he'd still send me pictures of the baby and stuff.
I'm happy for him. Happy that he's now a family man and have become a responsible husband and father.

I just wanted to post the letter to remind myself that anyone can be as cheesy and corny when it comes to matters of the heart.

Sheez! Can somebody just kill me?!?!

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Have a great weekend everyone! *mwah*