Have it all

Friggin' mid life crisis..how many times do I hafta experience that? Does it hafta happen only once? Or am I just labeling it as mid life crisis for lack of a better term for what I'm going through?

Looking at old pictures always makes me feel like shit. I know, I know one should look at the past as something for the books..experiences, lessons...some more crap. Today when I looked at my old pictures, it made my superficial self cringe because the old me is fresher, more idealistic and last but definitely the most important of all, had a friggin' fast metabolism. Yeah, I'm bitching about how I had the ability to gain and lose weight faster than I can eat a whole box of donuts in one sitting. How I miss my old thin self (and the donuts back home).

So, yeah I've gained a few pounds. I'm at that point where I started putting my old medium-sized clothes in boxes (not throwing them yet as I am always hoping I'll regain my ideal weight..*wishes). Sometimes it's a nice excuse to hit the malls and tiangges to buy clothes but right now I just feel icky and heavy. Just great!

But then my trusty old conscience reminds me to take a look around. I'm not at home, in fact I'm approximately 4 hours away by plane if you take PAL (pick other airlines and it will take longer). I have with me the person I love. I'm a few RMB/Pesos richer than I was back home. And I'm actually taking charge of my life. "What could I possible want more" is what I should ask myself then maybe a hard knock on the head should stop all this ranting.



Have it all - Jeremy Kay (Scrubs soundtrack)
Some days I feel like crying
It don't matter if it's rain or shine
I feel like my heart was broken
At least a million times

Some days I wake up dreaming
Feels like I've never even woke
I answer life's big questions
As if it's one big joke

Maybe it's too soon to be sure
But I really do believe that someday
We're gonna have it all
So I try to hard to keep the rhythm of a train
Rolling right along
When the ride gets rough you got to carry on
Carry on